It Was Not Them, That Sent Not Me Hither, But God

This is POWERFUL!! Sometimes what we believe is a blessing but in truth it can be a curse because it becomes an idol. God knows and sometimes that is why He removes things like, people, careers, family because those things have become more important to you than God. He is putting a stop or removing what will be our downfall.

I know this from personal experience and this is the hardest and sometimes the most confusing times in my life. In 2018 in my spirit I heard (not audibly), “Will you leave your children for me?” My eyes welled up with tears and I sat there for a few moments just weeping. When God speaks you know, no matter what others say. After a few moments I replied outloud, “Yes LORD I will leave all for you.” I really did not know how, when, or why this would take place but it did and it almost destroyed me.

For a couple of years my daughter completely quit speaking to me and I no longer seen my grandchildren. That hurt greatly, to the point I would literally scream outloud, “TAKE MY LIFE! TAKE MY VERY LAST BREATH FROM ME! I CANNOT CONTINUE LIKE THIS I HURT TOO MUCH!” He did not take my life and throughout I held on tight but I was broken, broken so much words cannot express. During the same time frame my best friend since 2014 walked out of my life with no explanation at all. She just up and left, my daughter quit talking to me and I was a visible mess. I was committed in a mental hospital for 8 days, and during that stay i was able to share Jesus with several people, even through the heartache.

Still I held on barely, but, I continued to love the LORD, though I questioned His love at times for me. Not once did I realize during that time He was removing idols from my life because He did love me. Sis, during this time would cry over me and try and help me as much as possible through kind words and encouragement.

As time progressed I leaned on Sis more than I should have and she passed away, after I had bilateral mastectomy done. Even though my daughter and I started talking again our relationship has never been nor will ever be as close as it once was. Richard and I drew closer as it was just him and I in that huge house.

A week after Sis passed away Richard had made a trip to the Smokey Mountains booked for us to ride a train through the mountains. It was during this time he was being tested for prostate cancer. We had an amazing time and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. When we got back home his results came back as positive. So much was going through my mind my heart was sad. God put it upon my heart to pray every night with him, so, I asked Richard if we could pray together every night he said absolutely. We did that for over a year every single night. But sadly I leaned on him too much and not on God.

My life was pretty much uprooted and changed dramatically May 13, 2025. Now for the very first time in my 57 years of living I was alone all alone. No true friends, no extended family, I had my son but he had his business and beautiful wife to care for, and though my daughter and I reconciled “kinda” i could not lean or count on her for the comfort or need anymore in life.

I was finally ALMOST to the point of relying on God completely. A veteran from Arkansas contacted me and offered me a place to live and a spending allowance if I wanted to be His domestic engineer. He was severely handicapped so I would be responsible for all household chores, shopping, and taking care of him. I almost did it, but a friend of mine offered me hours to work so I could hopefully get an apartment and be able to live in Stockbridge. Another friend and her companion bought me a used car so I had transportation. So I turned the offered down and began to work hard to get the apartment and be able to pay my bills.

My son and daughter paid a lot of money to help me move and store my belongings. Some at their homes and some in a storage unit. I felt blessed and was pretty happy.

But then just as quickly the bottom fell out again. My hours from work were slowly being removed with no explanation, to the point I maybe was scheduled 15 a week if that. I was broken and cried so much and was angry I was really angry. I was wrong now I see that, but then I felt hurt, betrayed, and lied too. During this time my youngest sister and I had started talking a lot. We would spend a couple hours on the phone, laughing, crying whatever. Then one day I wrote her because I had not heard from her and found out she was in the hospital with congestive heart failure. I was worried, scared, and frustrated she lived so far away.

The day she was released on a Monday I had went into work saw all my hours taken away except for 5 or 6. When my sister called and told me she was being released that day, I knew at that very moment I was to go and take care of her. That is what I did. Knowing I would be responsible still for 777.00 a month in rent, no job, no help from the government, churches, etc I only had my SSD 887.00 and my small pension. But I never gave it a second thought.

My sister as all know passed away Oct 1, 2025 and now I am literally isolated from family as well as those I once thought to be a friend. I do not hear from anyone from my hometown except a sweet little lady named Connie.

God now has me in His hands completely where I have no one or nothing to lean on in this world but Him. I have no anger, no regrets, no unforgiveness, no offenses towards anyone now.

Because I hear softly in my spirit, it was not them, that sent not me hither, but God. And some thought euill against mee, God was going to turn it to good. How can I be angry or offended at anyone when God let me know beyond a doubt it was Him that did ALL OF THIS NOT ANYONE ELSE.

Why?

Because children, family, friends, and work were becoming idols and God loves me way to much to allow anything to come between me and Him and though weeping does endure for a night joy will come in the morning. Blessings to all!