Rebekah had twins in her womb and the struggle inside was horrible.
She did not understand what was going on.
The struggle in her was two nations, two manner of people, two brothers, one spiritual, one fleshy and the older one would serve the younger.
But the struggle was real!!
Funny, not funny, as in laughing ha ha, but kinda funny as in peculiar, this has been happening in me these past two weeks or so.
(NO I AM NOT PREGNANT! LOL)
The struggle happening within my very being has had me in such a state of mind, that, I can barely put it into words.
A literal real struggle.
The spirit and the flesh, light verses dark, right verse wrong, holy verse the profane, old nature against the new nature.
Getting angry or crying…the comparisons could go on and on.
A dogs wet nose sends me into a state of irritation! Why?! That should not be!
Someone interrupts me and speaks over me, sudden aggravation!! Why? What I am saying is not more important than what they are saying!!!
Then being alone with just myself in a room I get mad at myself!!! Why???
I am struggling within ME.
I want to seriously just scream ( flesh part of me).
Then I just seriously want to cry like never before. (spirit part of me).
The flesh wants to crawl under the covers and just hide away.
The spirit wants me to pray, study and search the Word of God for answers.
UGH!!!!
This struggle must take place, the old nature, the fleshy part of me must be submitted to the new nature the spirit part of me!
The only way I can really describe it is, the fleshy part of me is beating against the wall inside this clay vessel screaming LET ME OUT!!! Let me do what I want!!!
But the spiritual part of me keeps grabbing the flesh saying we got to get this taken care of now!!!
One will be stronger than the other, but the one that is fed the most will be the strongest.
This sounds more like a mental illness than a spiritual battle to those who have never been born again, I understand that.
The struggle is real though and getting this flesh under subjection is a very, very, hard battle!
Why is this happening now???
I do not have an answer cause I do not know!!
The realization just hit me, the struggle between the flesh and spirit will subside, but there is still the wrestling with God that will take place.
Why on earth would I wrestle with God? Because though I am born again, I am chosen of God as Jacob I must learn to lean on Him for EVERYTHING! In order to do that I must come face to face with what I once was and and submit completely to the Father in all things.
That will not and is not pleasant either. When Jacob wrestled with God he had to admit that he was a trickster, a supplanter, he was conniving. When Jacob admitted what he was, God changed his name to Israel and also smote him on his thigh and until the day he died he leaned upon the LORD!
Every single moment in my walk with Christ is worth it, but, I will not lie and say that many days is not spent in tears.
Pamela JoyousNJesus McDonald
Watchmen On The Pod 